(500) days of propel

There's no one in town i know, you gave me some place to go, i never said thank you for that, thought i might get one more chance...

so its early august 2008.. kristie and matt are in town, ali still looked like he ate a Lin Twin, and me and two coworkers head out to a dodger game. the rest of the night goes somewhat like... listen to john legend and william hung while stuck in traffic on the 110, drink 40s out of brown bags in the parking lot, enter dodger stadium, sit in the wrong section of the upper deck, make a horrendous decision to drink that budweiser and clamato concoction... seriously, i wouldve given dodger stadium $12 more dollars just to take that crap back.. somewhere mixed in there is a dodger game. as we leave, syph molly is there....
--side story-- months before this game, the dodgers had an exhibition game at the LA Coliseum, brian, justin, my brother, brent, and i all head out there to go. the game is pretty boring and so brian and justin just drink, and as we run into them, there is this woman talking to them. molly. long story short, based on her overall look, the name syph molly was born.
....how do i know that 5-6 months later, its syph molly again? i think it was that red sox hat, but who knows, it was a year and a half ago, haha, but i do remember at the time that i was all excited that we saw syph molly again, haha. so as any other monday night should end, we go to isshin and drink way too much and sing too much karaoke..

what would you think of me now? so lucky, so strong, so proud, never said thank you for that, now i'll never have the chance...

so the next morning comes along, and i stroll into work and get the full array of looks from coworkers. i get the disgusted "really? you look like shit" look.. the "HAHAHA, damn youre in a world of hurt" look, and then one of my coworkers, who at the time did not know that "vishal" is simply another way to spell "lush" gave me the "damn homie, you're one of us" look. so im sitting at work (mind you, at this time, im about 6 weeks into the job) in a world of pain, and one of the coworkers that i went to game with, comes by and gives me an orange flavored propel to help with the hangover. well, part to help with the hangover, part to get rid of the shitty orange flavored drink, but whatever, its the thought that counts, right? haha.
so at the time, i had been using the 1/2L arrowhead bottles that i buy from costco to re-fill at the water cooler for drinking water, but the problem with these is that the plastic is already flimsy, so use it twice and its like holding on for dear life. so here i have this recently empty bottle of propel, and its a nice and sturdy bottle, so i make the executive decision that this is my new water bottle!

may angels lead you in, hear you me my friends, on sleepless roads the sleepless go, may angels lead you in...

so flash forward to 2010, and ive been using this same bottle for the past year and a half. every day. three desks, three bosses, three job responsibilities, from one monitor to two and now to three. youve been right there beside me. clear bottle, blue top: we've gotten close. sunny days, windy days, rainy days... you were there. to celebrate a no raise promotion? you were there. to mourn those sad days after someone left the company? you were there. thirsty? you were there. im falling asleep and i need something to prop my head up? you were there. bored and i need an excuse to walk around? you were there. to say that you were one of my closest friends would be an understatement. however, we're at a crossroads, propel. i dont want to go out and say that we're like sid and nancy, but let's be honest.. ive washed you with dish soap many times, but we're at the stage where thats just not doing the job anymore. maybe its all mental, but i cant shake the feeling that you kinda smell a bit funky. jacky thinks that youre starting to release toxins!! yes you were there to introduce my current reputation to the company.. but as much as i love you, i really cant drink out of you any more, perfect sized opening that allows for the ideal flow of water and all. so i leave you with the simple, yet beautifully penned words of Jimmy Eat World..its as if they were speaking to you. we've had our run propel, youll always be an important part of my life at pc mall, but today... today we must say goodbye.

if you were with me tonight, id sing to you just one more time, a song for a heart so big, god wouldnt let it live.

peace out '09

here we are, the end of 2009.. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda glad to see you go--its been somewhat of a humbling year, haha. Looking back at my post from last year, it looks like my string of progressively better years has come to an end. darn. last year i wrote that i made some new friends, but this year it looks like some people just aren't going to be a part of my life anymore. i can name 2 off hand, so to you two, i know you don't read this blog, but here goes : really? i get that things don't always work out for you, i know that as well as anyone, but i thought we were close friends. i know we were never besties, so i guess i shouldn't complain because it seems like you dropped them too, but i really don't think this was the necessary conclusion..that being said, i wish you the best!

On another note, I've been told by multiple people that I'd do well in a big corporation, but is that really a good thing? haha. I mean I've gotten two promotions this year, altho neither came with a raise, but its nice to know that the bosses think I'm somewhat capable. haha. but I've also seen friends and colleagues be let go, and that wasn't fun either time. of course its not personal, but still, you're telling someone that their source of income no longer exists. i mean, i guess its good that people think i have the personality to fit in, in that environment. but to think that I'm invincible isn't really a good idea. haha.

so following last years tradition of analyzing the previous year in the life of the blog, i guess it has been a good year for blogging standards, haha. the posts are about as frequent as i would've guessed. while Eric did mention that my blog has gotten mushy this year, i think its a good thing to get away from angry tv posts and hating about sports. Rob said he liked the new format, so i guess that's a good thing. I'd like to think that the quality of the posts have gotten better, but who knows, maybe I'm just being a homer. haha
anyways, on to 2010. I'm optimistic for the new year, i think it'll be a good one and pick up where 2008 left off. peace out 2009, its been whatever, and i'd prefer to not think about you anymore.

Welcome to East Dillion

i feel like the season 4 premiere of the greatest tv show ever created... ok... maybe second, "Seinfeld" still reigns supreme... is a solid way to enter my second stream of consciousness blog post.. so here we go season 4 of FNL, MOVE ME!

8:10 pm : episode starts with a recap of last season, always a winner, especially since last season, and specifically the season 3 finale, was epic.

8:12 pm : coach taylor puts on the red east dillon hat... what is this??

8:12 pm : Saracen delivering pizza?

8:12pm : Landry is a Lion!!

8:13 pm : thats a lot of thoughts for the first minute... with this slow depressing song going on... way to suck me in FNL, way to suck me in.

8:15 pm : can i play QB also??

8:18 pm : OPENING CREDITS! that song moves me every time. hey! riggins is still a main character! Eric told me that, but still.. and Saracen is a side character.. interesting.

8:20 pm : Riggins just got up and walked out of class... cant say i didnt see that one coming. text book out the window.. haha, wish i did that at some point in my life..

8:27 pm : oh snap, looks like theyre going to start a riot and kill julie! oh no! not julie!

8:30 pm : saracen delivering pizza to jd... aint that a bitch..

8:34 pm : jd and saracen with the little scuffle. which leads into the riggins brothers fight. love the drama straight from day 1

8:37 pm : landry looks like a girl. haha. and im not a fan of the whole "matt shouldve taken the high road" crap... sure theres a time to take the high road, but theres a time to not be a bitch too!

8:40 pm : that team was a bunch of bitches, good riddance that half the team left.

8:43 pm : um, hello hot girl singing while making breakfast. hello. HELLO :)

8:45 pm : ooh! stealing his old coaches. i like it!

8:46 pm : ooh, julie wants to go to east dillon!

8:49 pm : clear eyes, Full Hearts, CANT LOSE!

8:56 pm : and it ends with a forfeit. how sad... altho i am already looking forward to next week. i wasnt sure how this new season would be, but they seemed to have picked up right where they left off.

the internet

the internet... the information superhighway! invented by al gore! all the information, websites, video clips, articles, news, social networking sites, mp3s, blah blah blah, all day long. you really can get to ANYthing, and its all one click away!

the commercials list high speed internet as this great learning tool for students, being able to go online and download all the information that they need to run a report and write 3 pages about the saudi arabian desert, or benito musselini! (aka benny)... yeah, i guess all that is true, altho at the same time, its not likethe cable company can really advertise whatever people really use the internet for.. haha, i can see it now... cox cable with a commercial about their three pack of television, internet, and phone services.. 3 for $90!.. and in the commercial instead of some old couple sending a picture of their grandkids to another old couple, its some dude watching streaming porn and just as their about to, ahem, finish, the time warner cable road runner runs by and goes "beep beep!" haha

so then why the hell am i so bored with the internet?? i seriously only look at the following websites: facebook, espn, cnnsi, yahoo sports, bruinville.com, yahoo mail, gmail, 2 torrent websites, and the occasional blog. thats like 12 sites. on the internet. the entire internet! and those 12 sites take like 15 minutes to look at. i mean how many times can i go to espn.com and read about some stupid headline? then there is that facebook monster.. my news feed populates with random stories about a gang of people that i dont really need to be constantly updated on. haha. i've gone through lengths to have my news feed block the people that i really dont need to see, hoping to get more stories from the top tier friends, but my top tier friends either dont have facebook (really brian? i think its time you join the parade) or never update their page with anything juicy for me to stalk them with (kristie, eric, rich, hill... spice up your life, will you??) so i get this mess of information of people i havent talked to in years or seen in forever.

have i gotten so efficient with my movie/mp3 downloads where even that activity doesnt fulfil my needs? internet, where did we go wrong? how am i so bored with you? are there really only 10+ websites worth looking at? what am i missing? should i be visiting other websites? what happened to online games? i used to love those... i dont know what to say.. its not like you ever wronged me, you've been pretty awesome--all a guy could ask for. however, i think we might be growing apart, dont take it personally, you're great, i just think we're getting to the stage where you might be great for someone else..

Hakuna Matata

so here goes... The Lion King... ali gives me dirty looks every time i mention that i havent seen it. christine wondered to me why we're even still friends. jacky's first reaction to me stating that ive never seen the movie? "omg". previous reactions also include questions as to why i hate african movies. yup. the harsh reactions have gone that deep. with such intense reactions, i feel like this movie has to be pretty top notch, so to mark my viewing experience, i figure i should capture the emotions somewhere, haha, so here we go ladies and gentleman, a stream of consciousness blog about my experience watching the lion king:
sunday 8.30.09 8:10pm:
about to start... downloaded the movie, streaming it through my xbox to my tv.. the xbox says it's an 88 minute movie. prepared for the next hour and a half to change my life...

8:11pm: this opening scene reminds me of planet earth, just animated as opposed to the blu ray at the Fan Mahal. haha. and that transitions into this circle of life song that i've heard about. word. strong start disney.

8:13pm: that baby lion sure is cute. haha.

8:16pm: scar seems like he'll be up to no good..mufasa just entered the building. is that james earl jones? darth vader is king? ...checked imdb, my suspicion is confirmed. and this movie came out 15 years ago? damn, i'm late to the game....

8:22pm: is zazu the lion kingdoms version of the internet from the early 90s? coming around singing the morning report and shit. and johnathan taylor thomas is the voice of young simba? what happened to that dude's career? didnt he leave home improvement to like... further his career? imdb lists nothing significant after that show. is that whats going to happen to all of todays disney channel stars? sorry ashley tisdale. haha.

8:27pm: some song about not being able to wait to be king is on... i wonder if any of my tv shows are online yet... sweet! mad men! i know what i'm watching next!

8:30pm: oh snap! the kiddies are on the wrong side of town! is that whoppi goldberg? hehe, she wants a CUB sandwich. get it. cub. not club. that's rich! the hyena even looks like whoppi. was that planned, or is she just that ugly?

8:37pm: earlier suspicions confirmed, i do not like scar. can he not?

8:42pm: i wonder, does mufasa know that his brother is evil???

8:46pm: previous question soon answered. and ummm .... OH HELL NO.

8:51pm: just like what ego says at the end of ratatouille, what just happened has rocked me to my core. altho something tells me that this glorious future that scar talks about isnt that glorious. grr.

8:54pm: hakuna matata!!! it made it's appearance!!! a problem free philosophy? hehe that rhymes!

9:01pm: haha, pumba wondering what the stars are and he says "i thought they were giant balls of gas burning billions of miles away" well played

9:03pm: the way that monkey rips open the fruit is like.. truly epic. haha

9:04pm: in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight! i know that song!!

9:09pm: can you feel the love tonight! i know that one too!

9:12pm: i thought this hakuna matata business was about being problem free, not being lazy and choosing not to deal with any problems that might be too much. come on. man up, simba.

9:17pm: simba seeing mufasa and hearing his advice.. seems a lot like that scene in star wars where luke sees obi wan and yoda and they tell him what to do. haha. oh james earl. add in field of dreams, and i'm ready to type cast you, son!

9:20pm: he's going back!

9:23pm: how exactly did scar run all the food away from pride rock?

9:28pm: the fight is on! kill him!

9:33pm: did simba get all the plants and stuff to grow back by making it rain? im confused!

9:34pm: and they end the movie with another baby lion. freaking cute as a button!


there it is. i can know say that i have seen the lion king. not gonna lie, that was pretty solid. i can now rejoin society being a viewer of the lion king. will you have me?

BrIngiNG iT bAcK

I tRieD tO bRiNg iT baCk.. TypInG lIkE wERe iN SevEntH GrAdE aGaIn wAs SuRe tO bE A HiT. WhO dOesNt LiKe rEadInG ThIs aLL dAy LonG?

ArmEd wIth ThE aNnoYinG cHarM thAt iS ViShAl A NaIk, My deTerMinaTioN tO NoT bE DeFeaTed, A ClEvEr TiP PasSed oN tEaChInG mE tHe TecHNIqUe To TyPe LIkE ThiS eASieR (HelLo cApS lOck) aNd tHe haNdY KeYbOaRd oN mY CeLl PhoNe, It wAs aLL tOo EaSy.

iT sTarTed wItH aLi. TexT aBoUt BaskEtbaLL toNighT. mY ReSpoNse: WoRd. AlI: "cute" mE: I'm brinGiNg iT bAcK. AlI: FaGgOt. Me: "SeE, You'Re DoiNg iT tOO!" AlI haS noT resPonDed tO thAt, oR aNy OthEr tExt AlL DaY.

CFaN:"ali says stop typing like a girl?" mE: "aLi LOvEs iT" CfAn: "hahaha ali is refusing to speak to you" Me: "He EveN JoiNed In! He CaLLeD mE A "FaGgOt"! SeE iTs CatChiNg oN! FaN:"ok i am so not talking to you anymore" Me: 'AwwWWw :'(" fAn: "hahaha bYe" mE: "sEE YouRe DoiNg It ToO!" mE: "KrIsTiE aNd JacKy HaVe DroPPeD mE aLso..." CfAn: "uhhh i can see why?!" mE: "DonT hAtE BaBy GirL. WhiCh BTw, BabY GiRl tYpEd LiKe ThAt LoOkS So iNsaNElY AwEsOmE!" fAn: "ok that is SO not awesome. are we in 7th grade again when i was AzNSwEettEe?!" mE: "I NeVeR hAd aN Sn LiKe ThAt!"

Me: "WoUld You StiLL taLk tO mE iF i TyPed LiKe ThiS?" KrIstIe: "nO" Me: "::TeAr::"


Me: "WoUld You StiLL taLk tO mE iF i TyPed LiKe ThiS?" jAckY: "OMG i think ppl stopped typing that way in jr high. i hated it back then too. so please dont. who did that to you?" mE: "I'm BriNgInG iT bAcK!" mE: "AlI anD ChriStiNe hAvE alREadY DeciDeD tO StOp TalKinG tO mE" JaCKy: "i think i might too bc i have to actually look at what ur typing instead of just knowing by skimming. you need to stop. ur typing too fast for someone whos capping and uncapping" mE: ":'(" JacKY : "dont be sad" mE: "KriStiE dRoppEd mE AlSo..." jaCKy: "ur losing all ur friends. have u had ur fun now?" mE: "I ThiNk MaYbE aFtEr I WriTe My BlOg POst AbOuT bRinGinG iT bAcK..." JAckY: "and i assume youll be writing in this manner as well?" mE: "yoU KnoW ThiS!!!"

gRaNT: "bRinGinG WhaT baCk? tyPinG LyKE DiS" mE: "yUp iVe AlrEaDy gOtTeN tWo pEoPLe tO stOP tALkiNG To mE" gRaNT: "im not surprised" mE: "Its AlMosT tOO mUch But I doNt waNt tO gIvE uP sO eaSIlY" mE: "jUsT lOsT a ThiRD frIeND" gRaNT: "hAhAhAhA hoW LoNG wILL it LAsT?" mE: "aT ThiS rAtE, I wiLL hAvE nO mOrE frIeNDs tO tALk tO bY ToniGHt" gRaNT: "heHe" mE: "mAkE thAt FoUr" gRaNT: "make it five. i'm blocking you" mE: "oUcH"

eRiC: "i'm still your friend!" mE: "YaY!"

AlThO ThE oNlY pEopLe To CarRy ThRouGh oN NoT TalkInG tO Me HaVe BeEn AlI anD KriStiE. EverYoNe ElSe StiLL PuTs Up wiTh It, oR EvEn JoiNeD iN!!! My ConClusiOn Is: I wOnt LoSe ThAt ManY FriEndS RiGhT AwAy, sOmE wiLL EveN JoIn My CruSAde.. AnD ThAt I hAvE A HoRrIbLe HeaDaChE BecAuSe It HaS taKeN mE 30 MinuTeS tO TypE ThIs.

I TrIed To BriNg It BaCk, BuT I FaiLed. It Is TiMe To AdmIT DeFeaT.

the proudest moment of my life

in the second part of the recurring theme of days that have shaped my life, i present to you the single greatest accomplishment of my life. the greatest day ever. the one defining moment that has already, and will forever, shape the rest of my life. the power move that can only be described as the pontiac game changing performance in the life of Vishal A. Naik. mind you, i did double major in college while still graduating a year early; i missed 0, thats right, zero, math questions on the SAT; i have had the same best friend for the last 20 years--and im only 25!; i have traveled the world; what im getting at here is that i havent lived a sheltered life. and while im not benjamin button, i feel like ive seen as much of life as a 25 year old should have, so to say this one clear cut moment is the highlight of my life, well.. that's saying something!

so the backstory... the day is sunday may 25, 2009. the time is roughly 3pm. im in the car with ali and we're on our way to get some cups, i insist that we must make a stop and get our cups at a certain store. you might say, im hell bent on making this first stop. we get there. ali heads straight for the cups, grabs 50, and is ready to roll. au contraire, my friend. au. contraire. i head over to the back wall at the store, and pick it up. oh that glorious moment. the shocked and chagrined, stupified and mortified look on ali's face. the steady wave of calm that came over and soothed my mind, knowing that what i had just done was glorious. yes, you know it to be true. this single greatest moment of my life, the moment when i purchased for a mere $29.99... this:


i do not know how my life will ever be the same. i do not know what im going to do when we go to vegas, and i wont have a carboard hole to stick my head into. i dont know what the future holds when there is no cardboard cutout there for me. and frankly i dont like it. it scares me.


its been an eventful ride this weekend. thursday i got hammered, evidently took pictures cheesing whilst staring at a strippers ass, sang karaoke at isshin, made it home at god knows what hour, only to wake up 2 hours late for work on friday. which meant i couldnt move my car between the hours of 8-5 during construction, so i had to call my boss and ask if he could come pick me up. he could not. but one of our other coworkers took his car and got me. i showed up at almost 11am...then one of my vendors came in on friday and wanted to go to lunch, my boss is friends with this vendor, so we drank even more at lunch, which delayed the impending hangover until later in the afternoon, went back to work, struggled through the afternoon. i can only assume that i reeked of alcohol, but oh well, no high level meetings that day! then i had to call ali to pick me up from work. 25 years old needing to be picked up from work. yes, i am THAT GUY. then we went to crazy hook, drank copious amounts of beer and soju, then to sol's to drink more. then it's saturday, and after taking our time to figure out what to do, we went out for another birthday, drank out in ktown, made it to a karaoke spot, drank some more there, eventually made it home by roughly 5am--the taco truck on pch near kaiser had already left. thats how late it was. that made it three straight days of not making it home until around 4am. at the time i was thinking that this was a bit wild and that i had been on a rampage, to borrow a word from fan-tasia, but now... now i only see these moments in one way. no longer the crazy weekend that was, but simply BCC. Before Cardboard Cutouts.

no you cannot

so i remember this conversation i had with one of my friends just after she went to college back east, and we were discussing how big of an impact we have had on other people. who had an impact on us, how we feel we've impacted others. etc. and so since i already started one recurring theme of days that changed my life, why not another? so here goes: people that have either impacted me in some way or have been impacted by yours truly.


since i already told miss christine fan that i was thinking up a blog post that featured her, i figure she is a good start, because if i started this with someone else, and she remembered that i told her she was up next... boy, things would not be pretty. if you look at that picture above, she looks extemely nice, right? well.. let's just say, miss fan has one hell of a mean streak. this one time, we were at ra in irvine having a fishbowl race, and my team was paired against ali and christine; my team won, christine was so mad she took the empty fish bowl and smashed it over my head! ali had to drag me to his car and drive me home. i was knocked out for 3 days. THREE DAYS! that's the last time i ever beat her at anything! :O

so here's a little background about christine: she likes avocados and eggs benedict. it has yet to be seen if she likes the two together. since shes so busy making power moves, she only speaks to you via blackberry messenger--which makes it hard for us to communicate because i dont have a blackberry. its ok christine, we're people too.

here's the list of names that she prefers to be called: baby girl, baby doll, fanny pack, pretty prissy princess, morning dork, anejo, fancakes, fanda, fancreas, fantalones, fantry, fancelled, fandidate, and fannibal, to name a few.

Fanilow is currently on a rampage will in preperation for her upcoming role as miss national asia. an honor currently held by another member of our group of friends, as you can see in the image to the left.

summing up the impact that miss fantalones cortos has had on me is honestly fairly simple: ive actually said "can you not?" to people! i dont even know how to reply to can you not! why would i be saying that to people? how do you respond to can you not? i borrowed ali's blackberry one day so that i could actually talk to fancackes and ask her to explain it to me, but the paradox just blows my mind and i got confused. something that confuses me so much has worked its way into my vocabulary. if thats not an impact, then gosh darnit, i dont know what is!

as you can tell, there is very little truth to this story and a lot of it was completely made up. haha. or was it?

the day i lost a friend

so there are a few things that you may or may not know about me. yeah, if we're facebook friends and i tagged you in my 25 things post, that mentioned some.. but there are others.. like i absolutely hate it when people dont wait to see if someone is coming out of the elevator before they rush in. i get it, youre in a hurry, you dont want to wait and you assume that you are the only person in the office that pushed the elevator button. because we dont share the office with what, 100 other people? its a 2 story building! if youre in that much of a hurry, take the stairs! or how if i go to the grocery store/drive thru and the cashier or whoever says "have a nice day" i will really be mad at myself later if i dont say "thanks. you too!" (seriously, i feel like such an ass!) anyways, thats not the point... what i meant to start this post about is the days that have shaped the life of one vishal a. naik. the plan here is for this to be a recurring theme, so here we go, life-changing event #1!

so about 3 years ago, the parentals went off to india, and my brother still lived in new york, so the casa de naik down in lovely san diego was all empty. at the time i had no job, or well, other reason to even get out of bed in the morning, so i decided on party #1 down in santaluz. the plan.. get a keg, and watch the elite 8 game between ucla and memphis. ucla had just finished off one of the greatest games in recent ncaa tournament history by beating gonzaga in the sweet 16, so brian and i were feeling pretty good. ali and julius were just there to drink. caroline was there because at the time she had no choice, she was kinda just kidnapped, thrown in the car, and forced to attend. rob and cathy came because they lived in san diego so why not. michelle came later on in the night. it was a pretty stellar kick back, if i do say so myself. we had a nice keg sized keg of miller lite in the garage, which was to be the main drink of the night. i believe one caroline kim was not feeling beer that night and she went for the hard alcohol. being 22 at the time, jagermeister was a natural choice for the host (me) to bring out. michelle came later, and brought bottle #2 of jager. all told the night ended with brian coming up with "two times" many many beer bongs, brian yelling "boom bitch" at anyone he knocked down in fight night, and 2 bottles of jager and 2/3 of a keg finished. not bad work for 8 people.

so a week or so later, im off hanging with some college friends, and diane gerry asks me how the party went, since she was unable to attend--if you dont know diane, and you probably dont, she's the beautiful girl off to the right--> one of my closest friends from college and she also lives in san diego. i explained that it was fun and that we finished a lot of beer and 2 bottles of jager. do you know what ms. gerry, as her students now affectionately call her (she's a teacher now), had to say? "you didnt get a stomach ache?? jager always messes with my stomach the next day" and my response: "nope. all was well" i really didnt know what she was saying.. jager never gave me a stomach ache. i heart jager! .... or so i did. because there came the end. like a big steel door slamming shut. that was the last time. now, it doesnt matter how much i drink, if one of those drinks has any jager in it, my stomach will be a mess the next day. i could have an array of beer, shots, and mixed drinks and all will be ok, but if one jager bomb slips in the mix. oh dear. thats all i really need to say.. or i could only have one drink. dont matter. tomorrow will equal no bueno. so there it was. the day diane gerry went and killed what had been a good friend of mine. i can never look at jager the same. we used to be so close, but now, all i see is pain. what happened jager? where did we go wrong? why does it have to be this way? i dont know. i. do. not. know. but what i do know is that all was well before diane came along. i know it was you, diane, you broke my heart. you broke my heart..
(its ok tho, i still got plenty of love for you, di)

the curious case of benjamin button

sophmore year in college, way back in 2002, i decided that i needed some black shoes. so i was at the store and i saw this pair of black columbia shoes. not quite boots, since they are low tops, but not quite dressy, not too cute, kinda utilitarian, yeah..like a jeep. anyways, i remember the first trip i took these bad boys on... a trip to new york in november of 2002. we did a lot of walking around the city during that trip, which is -- if you know me -- a little out of character for a lazy ass, but thats what we did, and that was my introduction to, what ali now calls, my hobo shoes.i shouldve known we'd be in for a wild ride, while coming back from that trip to new york, these guys set off the metal detector at JFK. and so the tsa people made me take them off and put them in one of those plastic bins and slide them through the xray machine. keep in mind this is way before any attempts at making a shoe bomb, so long before taking off your shoes at the airport became standard.

it may be a little odd to be writing an ode to a pair of shoes while they are still up and running at full force, but thats ok--im not the kind of guy to wait until its too late to show my appreciation. let me tell you, these shoes, they have seen life. the stories they could tell... they have lived in santa barbara, san diego, downtown LA, and now the palos verdes/torrance area. four pretty top notch places to live if you ask me. they have walked the streets of new york, seen the sweltering heat of india, theyve ran around in the snow of switzerland:theyve taken a road trip to new york-making the stops along the way: new mexico, arkansas, virginia, dc, etc. theyve been to vegas and seen everything the city has to offer, they have been soaked in the rain of new haven--where they accidentally kicked someone's face while stumbling around trying to avoid the people sleeping on the floor, theyve visited houston, been to boise, been to norcal. theyve been the focus of projects in art class. they were on my feet when one of the single funniest events of my lifetime occurred:



they've met new people, reunited with long lost friends, theyve met girls, they have seen some of those same people leave or move away or fade into obscurity just as theyve seen people stay. theyve seen acuras and hondas and nissans and toyotas and lexuses and bmws. theyve been to nice restaurants, hole in the wall food stands, and everywhere in between. they've seen many a drunken vishal naik experience: clubs and bars and house parties all included. theyve been there for fishbowls at ra, karaoke and karage at isshin, and the poolside fireplace at blue velvet. theyve brought some of these memories back home with them as a rock caught in the sole, or some dirt hiding along the stitching--which is why it breaks my heart a little bit every time i need to clean them. theyve seen unemployment, and theyve been to work on the busiest of days. theyve substituted for golf shoes as well as basketball shoes on the occasions when they were so desperately needed. theyve been to broadway plays. they have seen the highest of highs as well as the lowest of lows. and theyve done all this while providing extreme comfort. in fact, i just got back from a night out in santa monica in these babies. oh the stories they could tell.... these guys have seen more of the world than some people have!
this last picture is the most recent. there is a reason that i took the picture with my cell phone and not my digital camera--10 megapixels just does not do these shoes justice. the clarity, the cleanliness.. its just not true to the nature of the beast. the haziness that the cell phone camera provides is a true representation of these shoes...everyone has their favorite clothing item, whether its that pair of jeans that you love so much that you have to hold on to them even though you lost the button and have to hold the waist together with some thread, or that sweater that provides you with more security and comfort than you could ever imagine...that is what these shoes are to me. my hobo shoes. my benjamin button shoes--because they truly have lived life. and things are still going strong, as i just replaced the shoelaces and these puppies are ready to see more of what the world has to offer. come at me life, with these friends on my feet, im game to take what you have to offer.

123!

its january 23rd! 1-23! i met someone once who said her boyfriend or fiance or husband or secret lover or ex or whatever said that january 23rd--123--would be just because i love you day. so in tribute to just because i love you day, and since the 3-4 people that read this totally love me, and therefore want to know the inner workings of my brain, ill let you in...you get to read this just because you love me! or. as YOU would think of it...just because i (who is now you) love you (who is now me)! damn! i'm good!

-why do writers refer to athletes as if they are animals? hes a thoroughbred, they have plenty of horses on the front line, hes got some real bark to him.. oh yeah, now i know why... athletes are just worthless peices of meat

-do i want to start updating my facebook status every day? like what if you go to facebook and today it says "vishal is really liking the new james morrison cd" and then tomorrow it says "vishal was too lazy to leave the apartment for lunch AND dinner, so he went to el burrito jr to get a family meal to cover both" and then the next day it says "vishal misses shannon" and so on. do i want to be THAT guy?

-why dont i have more interesting random thoughts?

-is this scene enough to move hurley into my top 5 tv characters list?



- im pretty excited that i too can be like don draper:



- i'm cold

Can We Clone Gus Johnson?

So.. continuing with my theme of stealing titles, ill steal this one from eric. while i agree with eric that all commentators could learn a thing or two or three from gus, thats not what my post here is about. what if gus johnson commentated all aspects of your life? imagine how instense everything would be! the mundane would be fun, the fun would be exciting, the exciting would like.. be mind blowing! see! thats whats great about gus johnson, his enthusiasm takes you to a new level of excitement. take a look at these two clips from recent ncaa tournament games, first theres craig bolerjack with the bucknell kansas game from 05..



and then here is the single greatest announcing job in the history of the ncaa tournament. you know, i honestly watch this video clip like 3-4 times a year. whenever i need to get pumped, or when the ncaa tournament starts again, or if im just in a bad mood. this clip is the sports commentary equivalent of the william hung cd, in terms of cheering me up.



see the difference?! bolerjack has you watching an upset. gus johnson like.. moves you!

so what if gus was the commentator for the rest your life?

gus johnson on golf:
and here's the DRIIVVEE, down the middle of the FAAAIIIIRRRRRWAAAAAAAAYYYYY!
(as opposed to ...this putt... should break.... a little to the left)

gus johnson on the world series:
TWO OUTS, BOTTOM of the NINTH INNING, here's the PIIIITTTTCCCCCHHHHHH, deep drive to LEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT, Anderson with the CAAAAAATTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!
(you know thats better than anything Fox throws at us.. Joe Buck, Buck Martinez, please..)

gus johnson on the morning drive to work:
getting on the 4440000000000000000005555555555555, an ACCIDDEEEENNNNT aheaaaddd!
(traffic will still suck, but at least youll be entertained)

gus johnson on the beer bong:
he's going for the DIAAMMMMMMOOOOOONNNNNNNDDDDDDD CLUUUUUUUBBB! 4 BEERS in ONE HIT! UNBELIEVABLE!

and my personal favorite...gus johnson on bringing a girl home:
he's going for the SHIIIIRRRRRRTTTTTT! REJEEECCTTTEEDDD! HEEAAARRRRTTT BBBRRRREEEEEEAAK CCIITTYY!!!!!

see. man. wouldnt that be an exciting life?